Which Is More Satisfying On Thanksgiving Day? NFL Football Vs. Thanksgiving Pie

(credit: Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
(credit: FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)
  • Taste
    …pain? Does football taste like pain? Let’s go with that.
    Sweet and crusty (which, incidentally was my nickname in high school). Even better with whipped cream!
  • Able To Be Enjoyed At 1 PM?
    Yep! The games start rolling at 12:30 PM EST.
    Nope. You’ll get your hand slapped. Pie is for AFTER turkey, dummy!
  • How Quickly Does It Make Your Uncle Fall Asleep?
    It takes mere nanoseconds.
    Instantaneously.
  • Able To Win You Money (If Gambling Wasn’t Frowned Upon)?
    Yep!...hypothetically.
    If that becomes a thing, I don’t want to know the unpleasant future where people gamble on pie.
  • Causes Instant Shame and Regret?
    nnnnNNNNOPE!
    Every time.
RESULTS
There you have it. With a score of 4-2, football remains the Thanksgiving champion we all deserve. -Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

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