Watching Monday Night Football Vs. Watching The Presidential Debate

It’s that strange time of every fourth year when you have to make the decision… to watch Monday night Football or the Monday Night Presidential debate. Sure you care about your team making it to the Super Bowl, but maybe you care about the future of America even more. If you’re still undecided on what to watch, maybe this will help solve that problem.

Monday Night Football
Presidential Debate
football TotT getty[1]
Debate Getty[1]
Winner You do 100 push-ups, chug two beers, go outside and pee on a tree. Establish your dominance.
You take 100 deep breaths, read a Deepak Chopra excerpt online, clear your mind. Don't worry, the country only has a 50/50 chance of going down the drain come November.
Winner Your team isn't playing but you're rooting for the team you hate the least out of the two.
Your homeboy Newt didn't make it this far, but you can see past Romney's flaws, including driving around with his dog on the roof of his car, just tonight though.
Winner Invite only friends who root for your team. You win together, you lose together.
Invite only friends who agree with your belief systems, everything from gay rights to gun control. If you invite the wrong people, friendships will be destroyed.
Tweet during the commercial breaks only, check in with your buddies, if you take your eyes off the game, even for one second, it's bad luck and your team will lose.
Winner Tweet your thoughts and opinions on every word, sentence, look, during the debate. Commercial breaks are for breathing exercises.
When the ref throws a flag against your team, you get apoplectic and you need to probably visit an anger management class...where is this coming from?
Winner When the moderator isn't giving your candidate the proper treatment, you just sit on the couch, cross your arms and shake your head. That will teach them!
Chips, salsa, wings, pizza, beer. Duh. You're an animal.
Winner Cheese platter, bowl of olives, wine. You're an adult. Duh.
Winner You wear your team colors and lucky socks, you're even wearing your favorite player's jersey with his name on the back. Man-crush, much?
You're wearing all blue cause you're a democrat, or all red cause you're a republican. This image is so disturbing, don't even get me started.
Winner There's a few close-up crowd shots, people cheering... whoa!! Who's that hot blonde in the stadium cheering for my team?! Ah, the perks of being a fan.
There's a few close-up audience shots... wait... were all the attractive people busy tonight or something? Good looking people aren't interested in politics? This just doesn't make sense.

The Winner Is

football TotT getty[1]
Winner Monday Night Football
5 out of 8

The winner is Football. As tough of a sport as it is, the real injuries are suffered in the political arena.


  1. DENVER, CO - NOVEMBER 15:  Quarterback Brock Osweiler #17 of the Denver Broncos looks on from the bench Kansas City Chiefs at Sports Authority Field at Mile High on November 15, 2015 in Denver, Colorado. The Chiefs defeated the Broncos 29-13.  (Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images) Quarterback Philip Rivers #17 of the San Diego Chargers calls a play against the Cincinnati Bengals during a Wild Card Playoff game at Paul Brown Stadium on January 5, 2014 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
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  3. ARLINGTON, TX - NOVEMBER 02: Carson Palmer #3 of the Arizona Cardinals throws against the Dallas Cowboys in the first quarter at AT&T Stadium on November 2, 2014 in Arlington, Texas. OAKLAND, CA - AUGUST 14:  Case Keenum #17 of the St. Louis Rams looks to pass the ball against the Oakland Raiders at O.co Coliseum on August 14, 2015 in Oakland, California.  (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
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