It’s that strange time of every fourth year when you have to make the decision… to watch Monday night Football or the Monday Night Presidential debate. Sure you care about your team making it to the Super Bowl, but maybe you care about the future of America even more. If you’re still undecided on what to watch, maybe this will help solve that problem.
Tale of the tape
Watching Monday Night Football Vs. Watching The Presidential Debate
|You do 100 push-ups, chug two beers, go outside and pee on a tree. Establish your dominance.||30 MINUTES BEFORE||You take 100 deep breaths, read a Deepak Chopra excerpt online, clear your mind. Don't worry, the country only has a 50/50 chance of going down the drain come November.|
|Your team isn't playing but you're rooting for the team you hate the least out of the two.||YOUR GUYS||Your homeboy Newt didn't make it this far, but you can see past Romney's flaws, including driving around with his dog on the roof of his car, just tonight though.|
|Invite only friends who root for your team. You win together, you lose together.||GUESTS||Invite only friends who agree with your belief systems, everything from gay rights to gun control. If you invite the wrong people, friendships will be destroyed.|
|Tweet during the commercial breaks only, check in with your buddies, if you take your eyes off the game, even for one second, it's bad luck and your team will lose.||LIVE TWEETING||Tweet your thoughts and opinions on every word, sentence, look, during the debate. Commercial breaks are for breathing exercises.|
|When the ref throws a flag against your team, you get apoplectic and you need to probably visit an anger management class...where is this coming from?||RULE ENFORCERS||When the moderator isn't giving your candidate the proper treatment, you just sit on the couch, cross your arms and shake your head. That will teach them!|
|Chips, salsa, wings, pizza, beer. Duh. You're an animal.||Snacks||Cheese platter, bowl of olives, wine. You're an adult. Duh.|
|You wear your team colors and lucky socks, you're even wearing your favorite player's jersey with his name on the back. Man-crush, much?||YOUR OUTFIT||You're wearing all blue cause you're a democrat, or all red cause you're a republican. This image is so disturbing, don't even get me started.|
|There's a few close-up crowd shots, people cheering... whoa!! Who's that hot blonde in the stadium cheering for my team?! Ah, the perks of being a fan.||AUDIENCE||There's a few close-up audience shots... wait... were all the attractive people busy tonight or something? Good looking people aren't interested in politics? This just doesn't make sense.|
The winner is
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