TALE OF THE TAPE

Was The Trent Richardson Trade Less Painful Than LeBron James’ “The Decision”?

Trent Richardson Trade
LeBron James 'Decision
Cleveland Browns v Denver Broncos
LeBron James Pre Decision Meet and Greet
Metaphorical Pain Scale Equivalent?
Winner Someone clubbing you in the head with a brick when you aren’t looking.
A month-long torture where you’re awake and in full control of your faculties for every second of it.
Cinematic Equivalent?
Winner When Michael Corleone iced the police chief in The Godfather. Sudden. Emotional. Quick.
When Mufasa died. Or, the first 15 minutes of "Up", whichever hurts your soul more.
Relationship Equivalent?
Winner When the person you’ve been dating for a year, and thinking of moving in with, suddenly has a new, more attractive beau (who’s also in better shape, you slob you).
When the person you've been married to for 7 years suddenly leaves you to become a biker gang's town bicycle.
Best Case Scenario?
Winner The Colts are mediocre at best, and the Browns turn in a 5-11 season, which they were going to anyway.
There’s no joy here. There is no best case scenario.
Worst Case Scenario?
Winner The Colts, with a talented young QB and RB, become a powerhouse for at least 10 years.
The Heat win a championship. What? They already- ok, so they win two ch- wait, what? Come on!
Humiliating Aftermath?
Winner Jim Irsay drunkenly tweeting about a “big trade” (but then, he’s always drunkenly tweeting about a big win).
Dan Gilbert’s magenta-tinted comic sans letter about how Cleveland will win a championship before LeBron James. That didn’t work out. Twice.
Most Pompous Moment in Sports History?
Winner No, it’s just business. Plus, many speculate that this will give the Browns the draft firepower to acquire a Teddy Bridgewater, and actually start a true rebuilding process.
Oh yes.

The Winner Is

Cleveland Browns v Denver Broncos
Winner Trent Richardson Trade
7 out of 7

Oh my, sports fans. We’ve never seen a victory quite this lopsided in Tale of the Tape history. The Richardson trade sweeps The Decision, 7-0. In a manner of speaking, Cleveland finally won! That said, losing your best offensive player, and STILL having it be 100% less painful than the LeBron fiasco just goes to show you what a dog and pony show the whole thing was. Just disgraceful.
-Brian Cullen, CBS Local Sports contributor

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. GREEN BAY, WI - JANUARY 8:  Aaron Rodgers #12 of the Green Bay Packers drops back to pass in the second quarter during the NFC Wild Card game against the New York Giants at Lambeau Field on January 8, 2017 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images) ARLINGTON, TX - DECEMBER 26: Dak Prescott #4 of the Dallas Cowboys throws against the Detroit Lions during the first half at AT&T Stadium on December 26, 2016 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)
    Divisional Round Tale: Green Bay Packers at Dallas Cowboys

    The Packers look to avenge a loss to the Cowboys in the regular season.

  2. PITTSBURGH, PA - JANUARY 08:  Ben Roethlisberger #7 of the Pittsburgh Steelers hands off to Le\'Veon Bell #26 during the second quarter against the Miami Dolphins in the AFC Wild Card game at Heinz Field on January 8, 2017 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images) KANSAS CITY, MO - DECEMBER 25:  Quarterback Alex Smith #11 of the Kansas City Chiefs in action during the game against the Denver Broncos at Arrowhead Stadium on December 25, 2016 in Kansas City, Missouri.  (Photo by Jason Hanna/Getty Images)
    Divisional Round Tale: Pittsburgh Steelers at Kansas City Chiefs

    The red-hot Steelers head to KC for a rematch with a Chiefs team they throttled 43-14 in the regular season.

  3. HOUSTON, TX - JANUARY 07:  Brock Osweiler #17 of the Houston Texans hands off to Lamar Miller #26 at NRG Stadium on January 7, 2017 in Houston, Texas.  (Photo by Tim Warner/Getty Images) MIAMI GARDENS, FL - JANUARY 01: Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots points to the defense during the 1st quarter against the Miami Dolphins at Hard Rock Stadium on January 1, 2017 in Miami Gardens, Florida. (Photo by Eric Espada/Getty Images)
    Divisional Round Tale: Houston Texans at New England Patriots

    The Texans head to Foxboro, the site of a 27-0 loss in the regular season and now have to face Tom Brady this time around.

See All Tales of the Tape

More From CBS Tampa

Kids Rock Science presented by Tampa Bay Water - A STEM Event at MOSIClick here to inquire about becoming our STEM sponsor!
Gasparilla 2017: Invasion, Pirates, Parade & Parking By The NumbersAs the January 28th, 2017 Gasparilla Pirate Festival nears, the pirates are preparing for one crazy invasion. Here is a look at this year's festival by the numbers.
CBS Tampa’s Social Media LinksFollow us!

Listen Live