The old saying “the third time’s the charm” does not apply to Fantastic Four. Before the nerds freak out, I understand technically there was the Roger Corman film adaptation which makes four, although that film was such a disaster it was never released to the public so it doesn’t count. The new Fantastic Four reboot keeps the franchise’s legacy of awful movies intact, by tearing down the foundation of what made the first family of Marvel great.
After viewing Fantastic Four, there should be no questions as to why Disney fired director Josh Trank from the future stand alone Star Wars film. Trank takes the least exciting part of the superhero tale, which is the origin, and drags it out for an entire movie. The Fantastic Four are not the team we all loved until the last ten minutes of the reboot where all the action takes place. Nothing exciting happens for the entire movie and then when the action does begin it’s over in a matter of minutes.
Clearly Trank didn’t care at all about the comics legacy considering he ignores the source material. The team is not space adventurers, but instead weapons for the government with Benn Grimm violently taking out our country’s enemies in secret missions. That’s not the fun-loving blue-eyed Thing we love. Reed (Miles Teller) is on the run, living in Panama after the accident for most of the film and Kate Mara with Michael B. Jordan are left to do nothing as the Storm siblings. Speaking of the accident that gives the team its powers. Instead of cosmic rays, the gang decides to get drunk and jump into the teleporter that leads to another world. I’m not kidding whatsoever.
The quartet never gets to be the heroes in Fantastic Four. The film is more of a Reed Richards story with Miles Teller as the focus who does not pull off the brilliant scientist at all. The sets are cheap, the effects are poor and the treatment of Doctor Doom is pathetic. One of the baddest villains in the Marvel Universe is reduced to a computer hipster who looks ridiculous after his transformation. What’s worse is Doom is given minimal screen time and is disposed of in a matter of minutes, just terrible for such an iconic adversary.
Fantastic Four is a deplorable piece of film that is 105 minutes of nothing. It’s time for Fox to let the super family go and see if Disney can make the Fantastic Four work on-screen like they did with The Incredibles. If Fox continues to hold onto the franchise rights, we’ll never see a quality Fantastic Four and that would be a shame.
Overall, I give Fantastic Four 0 out of 4 stars.