Sports

7 Acceptable Excuses For Missing The NBA Finals

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MIAMI, FL - MAY 30: LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat looks on against the Indiana Pacers during Game Six of the Eastern Conference Finals of the 2014 NBA Playoffs at American Airlines Arena on May 30, 2014 in Miami, Florida.

LeBron James (Photo Credit: Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)

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And then there were two.

Ever since last year’s seven-game barn burner of a series, which ended with the Miami Heat rising up, a rematch seemed almost imminent. The Heat are the class of the weak East, outpacing the on-again, off-again Indiana Pacers. The San Antonio Spurs, riding two of the NBA’s best players not named LeBron, emerged once again from the much tougher West. Both teams are whispering the word “Dynasty,” but each needs another championship for the label to stick.

It’s the 2014 NBA Finals.

Which team will make history, become legends? We, as sports fans, are duty-bound to watch. There are no excuses. Okay, maybe there are a few excuses. Here’s the short list:

1. Your wife goes into labor. Without life, there would be no basketball.

2. You’re trapped under something really heavy without a TV and remote control nearby.

3. You have to work. Ha, almost had you there! The NCAA Tournament and World Cup have given us many hours of excitement. They’ve also taught us how to watch sports on the job.

4. You suffer sudden cardiac arrest. Let’s hope this never happens to you. But if it does, once you recover, you’ll get a pass.

5. You have tickets to the game, but getting there requires a day-long drive from your home in the outer reaches of God knows where. Your car breaks breaks down along a desolate highway, far from any signs or life, never mind a service station. Your mobile device doesn’t get service.

Man walking in road with gas can

Photo Credit: Thinkstock

6. You’re from Cleveland, and you still hate LeBron for what he did to your fair town. You know what, no! It’s time for you people to get over it and recognize LeBron’s once-in-a-generation basketball greatness (and all-too-ordinary PR ineptitude).

7. You win the mega millions lottery, which is currently paying out $45 million. And the lovely people at Mega Millions Inc, or whoever runs it, decide to schedule the giant check ceremony exactly when the game is on.

If your excuse for missing the 2014 NBA Finals didn’t make this list, don’t bother asking. It’s not good enough. As a self-respecting sports fan, you should be watching what will probably be a series for the ages.

Check out even more Sports Lists.

Norm Elrod likes sports and other sanctioned forms of craziness.

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