Lighthall: Confessions of a Fantasy Football Newbie
So I finally broke down. After years of being begged, bribed and ridiculed I’ve finally agreed to take part in my first fantasy league. I’m about to be exposed to the world of PPR, flex positions, mock drafts, keeper leagues and cheat sheets. I’m about to have no life.
I dabbled briefly in fantasy leagues before: baseball, NBA, golf and even college football but all of that was when the commissioner did the stats by hand. Yes, you read that right – by hand. So you can safely assume it’s been awhile for me. But now? Now it’s a whole different animal. Instead of watching games on Sundays I’ll be watching my laptop. Or my smartphone. Or the Red Zone.
You’ve heard the term “this isn’t my first rodeo?” Well, this actually IS my first NFL rodeo. I fully expect to never see my wife and kids again. To hog all the bandwidth wherever I go on the weekends. And worst of all, spend all my waking hours trying to come up with a clever team name.
The Commish, my co-host on Fan Interference, can run a serpentine draft in his sleep. Pants, our executive producer, would make me look silly in an auction draft. But that isn’t going to stop me from doing as much preparation as possible before the upcoming Buffalo Wild Wings Drafts. Every league needs an easy win. Every owner needs to look down the schedule and say, “At least I’m better than them!” So let me say in advance, “You’re welcome.”
Rest assured, at least I know enough to not be that guy. The one that picks a player that’s already been selected. The one that takes a kicker in the first round. The one that only drafts Buccaneers. The one that doesn’t cover his bye week. Or maybe worst of all, the one that doesn’t change his lineup the entire season.
You’ll get my full effort. After all, if I’m going to suck … I’m going to earn it.