What are the top five things to do while your wife is out of town? Give these a try:
5. Binge at the grocery store. Buy what you want. Don’t worry about using coupons, counting calories, or reading labels.
4. Lay around the house in your skivvies or better yet, practice an always nude policy (as opposed to being a “Never Nude” like Tobias on Arrested Development). No one will be there to nag you to get your bare butt off the couch.
3. After you’ve watched sports all day, have a Jack Ass marathon all night.
2. Fall asleep on the couch and sleep in until the afternoon.
1. Look in the mirror to practice saying how much you missed her while she was gone.