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March Hotness!!!

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People think I’m joking when I say I’d pick Melissa McCarthy over Mila Kunis in “The Sweetest 16,” but I ain’t the only one. She’s got about 19% right now which, frankly, is more than I thought she’d have! I’ve always rooted hard for the big girls for a number of reasons I won’t get into here. It does go to show you, there’s somebody for everybody. Hell, Melissa just seems like so much fun whereas I’m still a little afraid of Mila after ‘Black Swan!’ I don’t care if Mila is a (1) and Melissa’s a (16). Says who? I’m doing the voting here and I say M&M survives and advances!

That’s honestly how I fill out my “Sweetest Bracket.” Everybody has their own style, that happens to be mine. Follow along and I’ll run down the pairings. And don’t forget to vote early and often at 987thefan.com!

(2) Kate Upton vs. (15) Bethany Hamilton

Of course you remember surfer Bethany Hamilton after that shark attack and subsequent Carrie Underwood movie, right? Well, she resurfaces just in time to battle the beautifully bouyant Kate Upton in a damn near rout! Kate Upton’s hot as a firecracker these days and I’m hoppin’ on board that train! In my “Sweetest Bracket” I see Ms. Upton doing some good things…

(3) Beyonce vs (14) Lady Gaga

All the single fellas! All the single fellas! Another slam dunk, runaway blowout, my friends. I expect Bey to pound Gaga, sorta like a heavy bag at an uptown gym! Beyonce, though I’m not sure if she’s got the legs to survive the long grind of “The Sweetest 16,” is an easy pick here. Lady Gaga’s best game’s been played and Beyonce’s coming off a strong performance in New Orleans at SB LXVII.

(4) Katy Perry vs (13) Hope Solo

I admire Hope Solo. Her sense of adventure (marrying that “unstable” ex-Buc a while back) and the way she tends goal for the US of A in the big international soccer matches is a major turn on. Plus, the way she dances to her own drummer (DWTS), you’d think I’d be drinking from the red Solo cup! But, no! Katy Perry comes from behind and handles her business, daisy dukes, bikinis on top! A strong contender, indeed. Nice work if you can get it, eh, John Mayer?

(5) Erin Andrews vs (12) Katherine Webb

Throughout modern history, many upsets have come in the (5) vs (12) matchup and today is a prime example of tradition losing to the brash, young upstart. Love me some Erin Andrews! She’s hot, intelligent and can talk sports all day long. But this Katherine Webb is intriguing to me. The way she handled herself when Brent Musburger slobbered all over himself was amazingly graceful. She became even more attractive, her star rising even higher. Ask me after “Celebrity Splash” airs but right now it’s Webb over Andrews. Any odds on if she stays with AJ McCarron?

(6) Giselle vs (11) Jennifer Lawrence

Truthfully, Giselle does nothing for me. I’m sure she feels the same about me. Jennifer Lawrence, on the other hand, I really, really like! I’ve seen very little of her work but I’m a fan! Added bonus: she looks like UFC fighter Ronda Rousey. Go, Jennifer, go!

(7) Anne Hathaway vs (10) Rihanna

Rihanna’s too much woman for me. There, I said it. I’ve heard her lyrics and, I gotta tell ya, I’ve lost a step over the years! She’d wear me out and I don’t think I can handle the up and down, fast paced grind! Rihanna also seems to favor the x’s and o’s of one Chris Brown. Somebody wake her up! Mine is more of a slow, deliberate game. Work it inside, score in the lane. I think Anne knows what I’m talking about. I’ve seen the movies. And the limo exits. The vote is for Ms. Hathaway.

and finally

(8) Lindsay Lohan vs (9) Jessica Biel

One of the toughest head to head pairings in the entire tournament! If you’re asking me, you really can’t go wrong with either pick here. If you’re a fan of the high drama, bat s% crazy honey, Lindsay’s your girl! Looks like she’ll be on lock-down for awhile which is even better! But if it’s good enough for JT, it’s good enough for me. Jessica Biehl has the resume and can back it up! One of my favorites in “The Sweetest 16!” I’d follow her anywhere…

And that’s only Round 1! Check back every day to see how your picks are doing!

Kirk McEwen

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