Cops: Man Needs Bathroom Break After Threatening To Beat Up Neighbor

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (CBS Tampa) – A local man reportedly threatened to beat up his neighbor, but had to first answer the call of nature before doing so.

The defecation delay gave the threatened man a chance to call the local authorities on his riled neighbor, 54-year-old Robert Gabriel Gernot.

The argument began when the unidentified complainant tried to engage Gernot in a conversation, only to be told that he was not in a talking mood, according to a police report obtained by TC Palm.

In an effort to avoid a fight, Gernot’s neighbor allegedly went to his house to give him a cigarette and a beer, while also taking care of planting a plant for Gernot’s mother.

But when Gernot began to call his own mother a “dirty whore,” his neighbor told police that he tried to defend her honor, asking Gernot to “stop talking to his mother like that.”

“He threatened me, so I threatened him back,” the report continues, adding that Gernot followed the neighbor back to his house after their confrontation. “[Gernot] started walking up the driveway … while threatening … ‘When I get done taking a sh*t, I am going to kick your f**king *ss.'”

Gernot was arrested for assault after police arrived on the scene, and was subsequently taken to the St. Lucie County Jail for processing, the report stated.

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